


Aftermath

by OptimisticallyCynical



Series: Breaking The Hawk [2]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, So...Hawk's snapped, aftermath of Mind Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28695279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticallyCynical/pseuds/OptimisticallyCynical
Summary: After Hawk manages to get away from Demetri, he has some time to think. It doesn't lead to anything good.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Series: Breaking The Hawk [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103372
Comments: 15
Kudos: 86





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to continue the whole 'Dark Demetri' thing, but than I had this idea of how Hawk would react and than how it would end up changing their dynamic and how much fun that would be to write so I'm just going to roll with it.  
> Also, Hawk's recollection of Demetri's words are not spot on because he's remebering them out of order and with bits and pieces missing.

Hawk couldn’t stop shaking.

Ever since he’d run away from the warehouse, away from Demetri, his body had refused to stop trembling. He felt like he was balancing on the edge, not sure if he was going to continue to run or if he wanted to crumble to the ground and sob his heart out.

Out of all the people who had hurt him in the past, out of everything he’d been called, out of everything that had been said to him, nothing had ever managed to cut him deeper than the causal words of Demetri.

He hadn’t even screamed it in his face, hadn’t hissed the words like they were some sort of venom. In fact, throughout the entire onslaught he had carried it on as if it had been a normal conversation. As if they were just sitting back at his house and discussing different doctors or magic the gathering stats.

Like he what he said wasn’t at all something he had constructed specifically to hurt him, but like every word he spoke was nothing more than facts. Facts that Hawk should have seen plain as day.

His chest heaved, a black hole filling the space between his ribs and sucking out all of his air. He couldn’t breath.

Stumbling away from the street he manoeuvred towards his house on unsteady legs, reaching out and grasping the banister to the porch like a life line. With every step he took he felt like he was going to collapse, trembling so badly that he struggled to get the door open.

Thank god his parents were at work today.

The stray thought offered him little comfort, or maybe none at all. The second the front door clicked shut he gasped, everything that had been building up smashing down now that he was hidden by the protection of his own walls.

_‘_ _You’re a loser.’_

He screamed.

This couldn’t be happening. After all of the time he’d put into being better, after all the effort he put into destroying that wholly loser part of himself, it hadn’t worked. Nothing had changed.

Demetri could see right through him.

He always had.

_‘_ _Kreese probably thinks your just as pathetic as I do.’_

He slammed his hands over his ears, as if that would help to snuff the voice that was echoing in his head. Screwing his eyes shut he tried to suck in deep breaths through his clenched teeth.

Nononono. That wasn’t true. He was one of Cobra Kai’s best fighters. He was, he was-

_‘_ _a one trick pony.’_

Fuck!

Hawk gasped, his lip trembling as he pushed himself away from the door, stumbling into the wall as he made his way down the hall.

‘ _how many fight_ _s_ _have you won without someone stepping in to save your ass?’_

His stomach was turning, his vision was spinning. He felt like he was going to be sick.

_‘_ _how much longer do you think Kreese is going to let you stick around?’_

“Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup.”

_‘_ _There’s no losers in his dojo.’_

He wiped at his eyes with the back of his bloodied knuckles, shoving his shoulder into the bathroom door.

_‘you can’t win on your own.”_

He barely made it to the toilet before dropped his head down and threw up.

The shaking intensified, his throat burning from a mixture of the stomach acid and the screaming. Choking down air between sobs he nearly hurled against at the offensive smell.

_‘who are you going to turn to?’_

He screwed his eyes shut so hard his vision swam with red and black, burring his face into the crook of his arm.

_‘You’re going to be alone, and that’s a grave you’ve dug for yourself.’_

Demetri’s words couldn’t have hit much hard at this moment.

Because he was alone.

He felt shattered and gutted and there was no one he could think of to turn to that could help. His parents were out of the question. His old friends were gone. He shuttered to think of what would happen if Tory or anyone else from Cobra Kai were to see him like this. Of what they would think.

He was their Hawk. The undoubtedly strongest member of their pack. The most ruthless and dedicated. Yet, he knew if they were to see him like this, if they even caught a whiff of this weakness, they would all turn on him. He would be an outcast, sent to the bottom of the ranks, become the new prey.

A chill seeped into his blood at the thought.

He hadn’t even been kicked out of Kreese’s good graces yet. No. That wasn’t right. He couldn’t-wouldn’t be kicked out of Kreese’s good graces, but it didn’t seem to matter.

He already was alone. There was no one he could turn to.

And he had done that to himself.

Pushing himself back onto shaky legs, he stumbled towards the sink.

_‘Always such a crybaby.’_

He looked at his tear stained reflection in the mirror. Looked at the bruises on his neck, the blood smeared outwards from his lips.

_‘Boo.’_

He felt like he was being choked again. His chest rose and fell in heavy heaves, but the tears stopped. His trembling turned to shaking, and than all out vibrating, his lips pulling back in a snarl.

What the fuck did he care?

He was alone?

So what. He’d been alone before. He could handle it.

He couldn’t win.

He’d fight harder. Practice more. Make his enemies suffer.

Kreese might force him to leave.

Than Hawk would strike out on his own and make both sides lives a living hell.

Demetri calling him out like that had been a bitch slap to the face. It had taken every weakness he’d been trying to hide away and forced it under the light.

But maybe he should have been thanking him.

Because now he was forced to realize the worst outcomes to any of his future failures.

And it made him realize something almost freeing.

It didn’t matter.

None of it.

At the end of the day, he would still be standing, even if there was no one standing with him.

He’d make it, on his own if he had to.

If anyone wanted to take him down, than they were going to have to take him out.

That included Demetri.

The smile over the face of his reflection looked grotesque. The blood highlighting the offness of it. His eyes trailed over the bite that Demetri had left, his tongue slipping out to prob at it. A dull sting rose up. He nearly choked on his laughter.

He’d seen the worst.

He was ready for it now.

He was ready to strike back.

Demetri better watch out.


End file.
